The Cult of I-AA: Fantasyland
The theme this week, my little gridiron sycophants, is fantasies. Not the fantasies you had about your seventh grade math teacher, either (although, man, that woman was hot—and I was 12 and just really didn't understand everything that was going on, but I liked it). Georgia Southern parlayed a 48-28 loss to Georgia where they scored more points against the Bulldogs than any opponent in 2004 (and forced Georgia head coach Mark Richt to re-insert his first team offense as the game got tight later than was comfortable) into a great season. That same year, Southern Illinois lost to Northern Illinois in overtime. Those two schools were ranked 1-2 much of the season. Ironically, both lost in the first round of the playoffs. Speaking of New Hampshire (they ousted GSU in 2004), the Wildcats popped Northwestern in the mouth for one of the two biggest I-A upsets last year. The other was posted by Montana State, who humiliated Colorado. In all, more and more I-AA teams seemed to have close games and surprising wins against their big brothers last year than in any I can remember. But none of them knocked off a team you'd think of as an iconic example of Big Time Football. Florida State trailed Georgia Southern in 1989 in the fourth quarter only to pull away for a win that was more convincing on paper than on the field. The Citadel beat Arkansas, but the Razorbacks are not really iconic, although they play in college football's most amazing conference and traditionally field powerful squads. When they lost to the Bulldogs, they were still in with Oklahoma State, Baylor and that lot in the old Southwest Conference. Still, here are the biggest games between the Icons and the Cult this weekend. Appalachian at Michigan: The last time a two-time I-AA champ played a top 10 school, Georgia beat Georgia Southern 29-7. That's respectable. If App does that well in the Big House, they'll stay perched on top of the I-AA polls. Western Carolina at Alabama: The Catamounts aren't even a good Southern Conference team. Alabama faced more of a challenge in their Spring Game. This is going to be worse than the first Persian onslaught against the Hot Gates in 300. At this writing (which is a day late—sorry) Louisville (which is a great team but not an Icon) has already hammered the living shit out of Murray State. Seriously, a dazed Mr. Hanky was last seen heading toward Frankfurt wearing a Murray State t-shirt. I'm simply using this as an example of just what the other I-AA teams are up against when they go to The Big House, The Horseshoe and the Screaming Red Pit of Death and Destruction. And, oh yeah, Nick Saban will run up the score. That's no fantasy. "With the fifth selection, the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers select Brian Westbrook" (And you were wondering how the Hulk tied in to this whole thing, weren't you?) The High Priest completed his own fantasy draft Sunday night, picking 12th in a 12-team league. Despite the poor position, my Bad Newz Kennels squad is loaded up with solid players. I'm fairly happy with my starting quarterback, half of my running back duo and both my wide outs. As for the tight end, defense and kicker, they are all serviceable (and interchangeable, let's be honest). With a hundred dollar entry fee, the Greater Savannah Fantasy Football League (GSFFL) was no place to start getting cute with draft picks. But what if you were to put together a team comprised exclusively of players from the Cult? Here are the rules: players must have played at least two years at a I-AA/FCS school and the school had to be a I-AA/FCS school while the player was there. The starting roster is one quarterback, two running backs, three wide receivers, one tight end, one kicker and a defense. Here is the High Priest's all-Cult fantasy team: QB—Tony Romo, Eastern Illinois (Dallas) RB—Brian Westbrook, Villanova (Philadelphia) RB—Brandon Jacobs, Southern Illinois (New York Giants) WR—Donald Driver, Alcorn State (Green Bay) WR—Marques Colston, Hofstra (New Orleans) TE—Eric Johnson, Yale (New Orleans) K—Jeff Wilkins, Youngstown State (St. Louis Rams) Defense—Jacksonville Jaguars (Defensive coordinator: Mike Smith, East Tennessee State) A solid defense coached by a former Cult player who also spent time on the coaching staff at Tennessee Tech. Honestly, the High Priest is taking input ion this one. Write in to him by emailing here. And now for the reserves: QB: Tavaris Jackson, Alabama State (Minnesota), a young guy still, Jackson has seemingly unlimited potential and follows in the proud footsteps of HBCU-turned-NFL star Steve McNair. Josh McCown, Sam Houston State (Oakland), With JaMarcus Russell holding out, McCown has finally started shine. Of course, in Oakland, crap shines when the light hits it just right. If you're drafting for pure production, Steve McNair (Alcorn State) and Kurt Warner (Northern Iowa) are winding down their careers. McNair is rated above McCown in most guides, but Warner is going to be behind Matt Leinart in Arizona until further notice. RB: Adrian Peterson. Georgia Southern (Chicago). We still don't know what the real AP could do as an NFL starter, but since Cedric Benson is about as durable as frozen spaghetti, this might be our year to find out. Maurice Hicks, North Carolina A&T (San Francisco) If he can stay uninjured, Hicks might see more action and has plenty of potential. Marcell Shipp, UMass (Arizona) You know, if Edgerrin James goes out with an injury, Shipp could be a real asset to fantasy owners. And if frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their asses when they jumped. Too bad, because Shipp has been capable in the past. WR: Two sounds—Brian Finneran's screams of pain as his knee implodes (again) and the sounds of crickets chirping. What, Mike Furrey, Northern Iowa (Detroit)? Okay, we'll take it! Furrey did have over 1,000 yards last year and six touchdowns. Of course, the Lions went out and drafted Calvin Johnson, so that is going to eat into those numbers a good bit. TE: [Insert more sound of crickets chirping] DEF: No, really. Somebody just mail in some suggestions. This has already taken up waaaay more of my time than I'm willing to dedicate without getting paid. What I will be doing is putting my fantasy team up against the Cult of I-AA All Stars each week using the GSFFL scoring system. I'll substitute I-AA guys when bye weeks arise. Email players from I-AA I might have missed at any position. Up each week against the Cult All Stars will be Bad Newz Kennels: QB: Carson Palmer, Cincinnati Don't bitch at me… Westbrook and Owens were both taken when I had them as my next picks. As for the reserves: Calvin Johnson, WR, Detroit I know, three players from the Detroit Lions. But Roy Williams is a solid WR no matter who is tossing the pigskin, Calvin Johnson is one of the only rookie picks worth considering and T.J. Duckett has the potential to be a touchdown hawk as a short-yardage power runner. Think Mike Alstott, only with a lot fewer actual skills. No matter—Bad Newz Kennels features a lot of guys with Heisman hardware and big school credibility against the Cult All-Stars. I think the Cult team will acquit itself nicely. I'll keep you posted each week. Fantasy of a different sort Get ready for tearful acceptance speeches When I wrote this column in 2004, I ran an ongoing reader-supported feature to choose the greatest single I-AA team of all time. Marshall's 1996 team topped the list easily despite some protestations that the Thundering Herd's transition to I-A was already in such full swing that they essentially were already I-A Lite. However, since transition rules (or Marshall Rules) were only put in place after 1996, the Thundering Herd's choice as I-AA's top squad stood. Now I want to create a Cult of I-AA Hall of Fame. That's right, the NFL has Canton, the College Football Hall of Fame has South Bend and the Cult of I-AA has Lanier Drive. There's no better place, actually—if the home of Notre Dame can host the college football hall, then an apartment across the street from Paulson Stadium, where Georgia Southern's Division Leading six national championship flags fly, should be just fine for our hall. So I am officially taking nominations from any interested party for the inaugural class of Cult Hall of Fame inductees in the following categories: Programs: Schools that have HOF credentials as an institution for accomplishments made at the I-AA level since its inception in 1978. Players: We'll look for players at every position, including offensive line and kicker. Innovators/Administrators/Media: Folks who influenced the game away from the playing field. Here's my email link again. I'll take ballots for quite some time while I try to assemble a crack staff of voters for the inaugural class of Cult Hall of Famers. Quick picks Because it's late Friday night and I'm waiting for the Mega-Millions numbers to come up, we'll make this short and sweet. I've done minimal research on these games, so these picks are mostly out of the blue. But they'll still count toward my season total, which I'll track in each week's column. MICHIGAN over Appalachian State That's keeping it simple for this week. I mean really simple. Next week, I'll put together a more comprehensive series of picks. Until then, don't share the secret handshake.
No, this is like the fantasy that Appalachian State has of somehow being the first Cult team to really, really, really shock the world and knock off a I-A Goliath. Of course, it won't happen. But just keeping the game respectable against such a powerhouse can be an amazing momentum-maker for a Cult school. In 2005, Appalachian kept things respectable against LSU on the way to the first on a currently ongoing string of I-AA championships.
Youngstown State at Ohio State: This isn't the type of game it might have been in 1994, when Youngstown was racking up I-AA championships at an alarming rate. One reason might be that the guy patrolling the sidelines for the Penguins in 1994 (and 1991, 1993 and 1997) is now coaching the Buckeyes.
Fantasy football used to be as much of a cult as the Division I subdivision in the sporting world. Fantasy football players were actually fantasy baseball geeks who got bored with (a) the offseason and (b) rotisserie scoring. The sport that was once the exclusive domain of box-score junkies and computer geeks with complicated spreadsheet formulas entered into Lotus 1-2-3 was revolutionized by the Internet. In fact, short of pornography and telephone chat lines, it is hard to think of many undertakings that have undergone a more gamma-irradiated transformation than fantasy football because of the Internet.
The 2002 Walter Payton Award winner is now America's Quarterback in Dallas. Romo had almost 3,000 yards and 19 touchdowns as he ascended the NFL consciousness. He's off the field goal unit, though.
Another Payton award winner (2001), Westbrook is one of the most versatile backs in the league. Last season he had 11 total touchdowns and 1,916 total yards as a rusher and receiver, ranking him ahead of Heisman winner Reggie Bush in most fantasy guides.
Does anyone get the feeling that the NFC East scouts the Cult a little better than everyone else? Jacobs is the heir to Tiki Barber's throne after averaging a healthy 4.4 yards per carry last season. Now he just has to start calling out his coach and quarterback and it will be like Tiki never left.
WR—Terrell Owens, Chattanooga (Dallas)
He may not exactly be the starting X receiver for the All Fan Favorite team, but TO is still the best thing the Cult has going at this position. Even after losing a step, Owens still hauled in 13 touchdowns last year, and he's part of a Cult tandem with Tony Romo in Big D.
In college, Driver caught passes from Steve McNair at Alcorn State. In the pros, he's been paired up with Brett Favre and has made the most out of that opportunity. Even in a bad year for the Packers, Driver still caught eight touchdowns and accounted for just less than 1,300 yards.
The surprise of the year last season, Colston outshone fellow rookie and Heisman winner Reggie Bush through much of the season. The pride of the Pride had four 100-yard games and hauled in eight touchdowns to bring some much-needed music to New Orleans.
The Saints become the second team with two Cult members on the starting offense. Johnson has been injury-plagued through his career, but when healthy in 2004 had almost 1,000 yards receiving.
Amazingly, the only player on this fantasy roster with even a single I-AA championship ring is Wilkins, one of the top-rated kickers in all of the NFL. Wilkins was a perfect 3-for-3 from 50 yards and beyond last season and converted 32-of-37 field goal attempts overall.
K: Rob Bironas, Georgia Southern (Tennessee) beat the Colts with a 60-yard game winner. Not so hot on the routine kicks, though.
RB1: Reggie Bush, New Orleans
RB2: DeAngelo Williams, Carolina
WR1: Reggie Wayne, Indianapolis
WR2: Roy Williams, Detroit
TE: Jeremy Shockey, New York Giants
DEF: Carolina Panthers
K: Jason Elam, Denver
J.P. Losman, QB, Buffalo
Greg Jennings, WR, Green Bay
T.J. Duckett, RB, Detroit
Drew Bennett, WR, St. Louis
Ben Troupe, TE, Tennessee
That's right, it's time again for the weekly Cult Babe. Remember, your suggestions are welcome for new Cult Babes, particularly ones with a tie in to Cult schools. In that vein, I decided to trot out an "oldie but goodie," past Cult Babe Mira Sorvino. An honor grad at Harvard, perhaps Miss Sorvino could take up the Cult's cause and get the Ivy League to put its champion into the I-AA playoffs and see what happens. Every time I slammed the Ivy in 2004, a horde of defenders seemed to fly out of the woodwork, but I maintain with a healthy fervor that until the SWAC and Ivy take part in the playoffs and show what they have, we relegate them to Division I-AA ½. That'll teach 'em.
Coaches: Based on their impact while at the I-AA level, with consideration of other career achievements being factored in as well.
OHIO STATE over Youngstown State
NOTHWESTERN over Northeastern (the Compass Bowl)
FLORIDA A&M over Southern
THE CITADEL over Charleston Southern
CAL POLY over Texas State
KENTUCKY over Eastern Kentucky
MARYLAND over Villanova
PORTLAND STATE over McNeese State
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